A Big Day for America ! Comrade Harry Reid Celebrates Job Loss!

It is with Celebratory Golf Claps and Champagne in Chambers that Kinda-Sorta-Thinks-He-Is-Leader Comrade Harry Reid unveiled his big announcement today:

“Today is a big day in America. Only 36,000 people lost their jobs today, which is really good,” Reid said Friday on the Senate floor.

We will pause while all Loyal Comrades assume the position of facing East to the White House to celebrate another success in the Agenda of the Head Comrade In Charge!  SALUTE YOUR LEADERS, LOYAL COMRADES!

It is the Philosophy of the Head Comrade In Charge and Those Who Obey Him No Matter The Cost that more and more Comrades will be assimilated through this Job Loss Program.  A BIG DAY INDEED!

We are announcing a very special treat to continue the Celebration of the Big Day for America!  All Loyal Comrades in the area may attend the White House Job Loss Picnic tomorrow – the Head Comrade in Charge has diverted Stimulus funds to spring for KoolAid and Weenies!

For those who cannot attend – You may report to the local ACORN Center to receive your Special Treat Ration of Government Tofu to celebrate the Job Loss Success at home with your families!

This Tofu is sponsored by the First Lady to the Head Comrade in Charge and the Newly Appointed Fatty Czar!  Because State Sponsored Celebrations should only be fun when the cameras are rolling!

All Loyal Comrades are ordered to enjoy themselves!

Robert Gibbs, new Twit Czar – Loyal Comrades ordered to ReTweet

Our Fishy Department needed some time to regroup and work around The Presidential Record Act. We will re-commence Fishy Postings Immediately.  And Comrades will read them.  Loyally.

It is with great fanfare that we announce that our own Czar of Propaganda, Robert Gibbs will be Tweeting to disperse the appropriate message of Truthium and Hopium to the Masses. He is heretoafter to be known as the Czar of Twit Twit Czar.

Loyal Comrades are ordered to join his Twitter account and loyally ReTweet all of the Tweets of Empty Wisdom that will be coming from him.  The Head Comrade in Charge is very excited to re-establish his hold on Social Media since the Angry Mob apparently hacked Twitter to make it appear as if they have a majority.  Kim Kardshian was quite kind to give us tips on how to hold the Masses in thrall while saying nothing of import at all.  We are currently interviewing her for the Czar of Fluff … stay tuned for further announcements.

Kim Cardshian - Consultant to the Twit Czar & Candidate for Czar of Fluff

In conjunction, with the Twit Czar, we are creating 10,000 new jobs immediately for the Hopium Tweet Brigade.  Please report to your nearest Organize for America or Moveon.Org Headquarters where you will be awarded a brand new laptop (from Stimulus One funds because it created 20 million jobs) and then assigned a Twitter account and begin your Twitter Indoctrination Seminar.  This Indoctrination Seminar is very important to Loyal Hopium Tweet Brigade Employees as you will learn the proper methodology of hitting the ReTweet button for every tweet that comes from the Twit Czar, the White House, The Head Comrade in Charge and every other fringe left troll on #p2.

We will also offer an additional Seminar called “How to Troll #TCOT & Call Names Like a Five Year Old” so that our new Hopium Tweet Brigaders have a goal to achieve – they too can be a #P2 Troll!  This Seminar has been developed by the Head Comrade in Charge Himself and He does quite a special segment on “How to Blame Bush and Cheney No Matter the Contrary Evidence”.

The Head Comrade in Charge is fully supporting this venture since He has been quite bummed that He was outed in China last fall that in fact He has never tweeted a single time.  Now there is no need for Him to be all bummed out – the Twit Czar is in place, Hopium Tweet Brigade Jobs have been created (20,000!) and Kim Kardshian is coming back to the White House next Wednesday night.  *WOOT*