Evil Capitalist Health Insurers are put on notice

!waxman

Update from our Lightbulb Czar regarding the Evil Capitalist Health Insurers.

Today, we strike a blow to the Evil Capitalist Health Insurers that have been resisting the Truthium and Hopium of our Head Comrade in Charge and inciting the Angry Pestiferous Mob to revolt.  I, the Lightbilb Czar have had another fantastic idea!  The Evil Capitalist Health Insurers are hereby put on notice that there is nowhere to hide –

We demand immediate compliance and submission to the State of the following information:

  • a table identifying employees compensated more than $500,000 between 2003-2008, along with the “annual value of each of the following components of the individual’s compensation:”
  • Salary, bonus, grant & realized values of stock & options awarded, non-equity incentive plans, change in pension values, and all other compensations
  • a table identifying all board members and individual compensations
  • a table listing conferences, retreats, etc along with the purpose and the expenses
  • from 2003-2008, a table listing the company’s total revenues, net income, and total dividend payments,
  • documents relating to compensation plans
  • documents listing general or administrative expenses, with specific data requested
  • a table identifying what all employees had for breakfast on the third Wednesday of every month from 2003-2008, including cost of that breakfast
  • a graph depicting the color of undergarments that Board Members typically wear as they meet and devise their Evil Capitalist plans
  • Receipts for donations made to the Members of Congress of the State from 2003-2008 so that the evidence may be covered up that any of our Czars have received large sum donations from the Evil Capitalist Health Insurers
  • Any provocative pictures of the wives or mistresses to be reviewed privately by the Lightbulb Czar himself

We will not tolerate any refusal or whining of Constitutional Rights.  As everyone knows, the Constitution is a living breathing document that is to be manipulated and interpreted however is convenient for our purposes.  You will not seek refuge behind the Constitution, Evil Capitalists!  We will assimilate or destroy you!  And expose your Evil breakfast habits as well!

COMPLY NOW EVIL CAPITALIST HEALTH INSURERS!  WE SHINE THE LIGHTBULB OF SUBMISSION UPON YOU!

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